and so he watches, counting the raindrops outside
by periwinkleisthecolorofmysoul
Summary: one shot: the progressing relationship of Rin and Haru told through the eyes of Makoto


_He knew something was there from the beginning_

"Hey Nanase! Why won't you swim in the relay with me?" Green eyes turned as a young, red-haired boy began pestering a stoic blue-eyed male. The young red-head was a transfer, the new kid, Matsuoka Rin, who had not given up on the prospect of winning the ever-looming relay – something he'd convinced himself would not ever be a reality without the participation of the blue-eyed Nanase Haruka.

"Oi! Makoto – can you get Nanase to swim with me?" Rin looked over at the green-eyed boy pleadingly, "he only ever seems to listen to you."

Makoto smiled kindly, the expression natural on his face. His brown bangs were darkened by water and he moved to flick them out of his face.

"It's not going to work Rin," Makoto said softly, looking over at his best friend, "once Haru decides on something, it's going to take a lot to change it."

Rin turned away at this with a huff, as Makoto surveyed his teammates actions serenely. They all – Rin included – meant a lot to him, even in the short time he'd known some of them. Because of this care, this affection, Makoto felt a duty to protect the members of the team and help them get along. He thought about saying something to Haru later perhaps, seeing yet another rejection take place in front of him. Looking closer however, Makoto noticed the slight smile on Haru's face as he turned away from Rin and the way he didn't immediately pull away from the incessant tugging on his arm. There was something strange in the way Rin was so persistent in getting close to Haru, but Makoto shrugged it off. Perhaps, Makoto thought, a talk with Haru wasn't necessary after all.

Makoto's thoughts were proved veritable the next day as word spread that Haru would be competing in the relay.

/ /

The day that Rin left for Australia, Makoto watched Rin and Haru say their good-byes. He watched the posture of Haru as he half turned away from Rin to hide his embarrassment, and the ensuing disappointment of Rin who took this as indifference from Haru. Watching their interactions, Makoto smiled.

Something was strange indeed, but somehow, it also seemed right.

/ / / / / / /

_He knew something changed in the middle_

"I'm not going to swim."

Makoto looked in shock at the dead eyes of the boy who said those words. Haru, the famed hydrophile who stripped at the mere mention of water, was refusing to enter the pristine pool before them.

"But – Haru, you _love_ swimming."

"I'm not going to swim." Haru repeated, stuffing his hands inside the coat that remained firmly on his body.

_Why?_ Makoto wondered, desperate to voice his thoughts aloud.

/ /

When Rin returned from Australia and suddenly Haru's eyes were filled with water again and he wanted to join the swim team it suddenly hit Makoto.

It always was Rin, after all.

/ / / / / / /

_He watched it form_

Makoto ran up, spotting Rin at nearly the same time Haru did. He reached out, before ducking back behind the building to watch the scene unfold before him, somehow knowing that it was not his place to intervene – not yet. Under the light of the cherry tree, Makoto watched Rin and Haru's argument unfold, somehow knowing, without hearing any words, what was transpiring between the two. He saw a desperation on Haru's face that he'd never seen before, mixed with a kind of passion and concern that sent a throb through Makoto's chest – a regret that he'd never been the cause of such emotion coming from his friend.

Spotting Nagisa running toward the pair, Makoto put on a grin, the two racing out toward the pair with Rei not far behind.

/ /

It's after they race the relay together and win and everything once again feels right with the world that Rin tackles Haru in a hug, hiding the tears that leaked from his eyes. Makoto smiles at this, knowing that his best friend is in good hands and joins the hug, desperate to feel that same kind of love.

After all, it always was Haru for Rin too.

/ / / / / / /

_He watched, seeing it, seeing all_

Rin was now a common occurrence at Iwatobi Swim Club practices – something that often got him scolded by Gou, who believed him to be slacking off. It's during the times when Makoto is not in the pool himself that he watches the other boys. He sees Nagisa and Rei and wishes that the blond wouldn't tease the other too much – Rei was still much too innocent for his own good – and yet doesn't say anything about it as he knows that the blue-headed boy loved the attention a little too much.

He sees a familiar sight of red hair bothering black hair and turned up noses in refusal. He sees a graceful form gliding its way through the water, speeding up just a little as it notices another passing it, a full-out race soon emerging in the pool. He sees dull blue eyes that take on a new light as they silently challenge fiery red eyes and he sees the way muscles tense as arms accidentally brush against each other and he sees soft looks when the other isn't looking and he sees gentle hands drying off the hair of the other who couldn't be bothered to do so himself and he sees –

Too much, and so Makoto takes his turn and dives deep, deep into the pool and lingers there until his lungs scream for breath and he fights his way back up to the surface and he wonders.

Why don't they see each other?

/ / / / / / /

_He watched it bloom_

It's raining outside and practice has been cancelled. Makoto is over at Haru's house eating a typical dinner of mackerel, mackerel and more, mackerel. Haru's eyes have been restless, Makoto notices, betraying something on his mind. Haru is concerned about something and that something is nearly always synonymous with Rin.

Makoto sighs as the mackerel turns to ash in his mouth and he asks Haru what's wrong.

/ /

It's raining again when a week later Makoto is over at Haru's house again. They've just settled down when the doorbell rings and Haru gets up to open it, revealing a thoroughly drenched Rin. Haru steps back, as though pushed back by shock, and when he turns to look at Makoto there's fear in his eyes – fear, and anticipation. Rin shuffles awkwardly for a few moments and stumbles over a couple of words before Haru's eyes light up and he pulls Rin into the house. Makoto takes this moment to silently excuse himself, pulling on his shoes and coat. He closes the door behind him on the sight of Haru and Rin leaning toward each other, and walks out into the rain alone.

Nobody sees him leave, too caught up in each other.

/ / / / / / /

_He watched it struggle on_

Makoto watches as Rin tries desperately to get Haru to study so they can go to the same university. Countless nights are filled with yelling and angry silences as patience levels and tempers are pushed to the max.

It comes as no surprise to anyone when the two go their separate ways.

/ /

Makoto watched Haru concernedly, taking in his blank complexion. Haru had been moving in a daze the past few days since he and Rin had cemented the deal on where they would each go for university, and Makoto had noticed. He tried everything to cheer up his friend, never wanting to see him as down as this, and wanting to show Haru that Rin may not be there but _he _was – Makoto, his friend, the one that was _always_ there and would _always_ care for him.

Nothing worked.

/ /

It was only a few days later when Haru barged into Makoto's apartment, eyes shining with happiness, and proudly displaying a small, golden ring on his finger.

A promise, solidified in gold, and crafted to last forever.

/ / / / / / /

_He watched it thrive_

Makoto stood, surveying proudly the family that surrounded him. Rei and Nagisa were laughing off to the side, heads bent together conspiratorially. The sound of pattering feet echoed through the halls accompanied by the joyous laughter of children. Rin and Haru occupied their own part of the house, bickering and smiling as though still in high school. Gou and Seijuurou were there too, Gou becoming a bit too tipsy off of simply wine – not that Seijuurou particularly minded, Makoto noted with amusement. Even Gou's friend from all those years ago – the friend with the name that no one could ever quite remember – was there, proudly displaying her date on her arm. Makoto heard they'd been going on nearly six months now, a record for Gou's friend.

Makoto didn't know how many years it had been since they all met, or how many it'd been since that fateful day in the rain. Watching Rin smile while Haru delicately lay a hand upon the other male's arm, initiating a contact that not many were privileged of, Makoto could see that the two were still going strong. It was as Rin and Haru led the children out of the house, followed soon after by the others, that the cheer and merriment that had previously filled the house disappeared. The walls echoed with loneliness and regret as Makoto was left alone to stare at the sole picture on the wall, of four boys, three oblivious to the times to come, and one waiting on the inevitable.

Rin and Haru were always so oblivious.

/ / / / / / /

_And he let it go_

Makoto sat on the park bench where he was overlooking the children on the play structure – a duty assigned to him so that Haru and Rin could walk along the beach while their children played amongst wooden shingles and hard plastic. Looking at the couple, silhouettes outlined by the sun and hands clasped firmly between them, Makoto smiled. It was an empty smile, and anyone looking would've noticed it lacked the usual cheer that characterized the brunette.

It wasn't that Makoto had loved Haru in a romantic way, per se. It wasn't even familial, or motherly, or any other type of love that had been used to tease Makoto about his care toward the other boy. Haru had been his friend for too long. He could not remember a time before the boy had been his friend and there had scarce been a time after that where they could not be seen together. Being so close to and caring for – loving – the same person for so long left a deep mark on somebody. Makoto felt it each day, since the day Rin came, and it hurt. It stung and it throbbed, deep in his chest, with each moment Haru drifted away from him. It hurt knowing that there was nothing Makoto could do, nothing to stop the eternal drifting and pulling of the tide on Haru away from him. It hurt knowing that the one thing he wanted to do – to drag Haru back to his side, to distance him from Rin, to make things how they used to be, just him and Haru, together – was the one thing that would hurt Haru the most.

And so Makoto let go, resigning himself to the pain in his chest, as the first rain drop fell, sinking slowly into the earth where it was consumed, lost to the world forever.


End file.
